I'm starting this blog as a way to begin to share my art work with others. I feel enormous ambivalence about sharing it. For decades my deafeningly loud inner critic kept me from admitting to myself that that I want to be an artist. I continue to spar with her every day and am scared of showing my work to others because their responses will add an external critique to that already powerful stream of opinion. It seems that it's not just external criticism that might set me back, it's also praise.
The only way I might ultimately be able to make great art is to practice every day, over a long period of time. A very important part of getting better means honing my internal sense of judgment about my work. Then I'll know which comments to take to heart and incorporate and which to brush off. It's only from the inside that I can find the equilibrium between where I know myself to be and where I need to go. But it's easy to give the voices of external critics tremendous weight and my inner voice is so soft. If I lose confidence, the whole enterprise is put in jeopardy.
I know how thoroughly I've been schooled to people-please. I also know how quickly one motive can replace another, especially when
one is much flashier and simpler to grasp. But I'm not making art to please others, I'm doing it to answer an internal calling. If someone likes a piece I make, then I simply want to be grateful for that extra gift.
More importantly to me right now, by sharing pieces of my work on this blog I hope to feel less alone as I practice. For anyone who decides to come along for the ride: welcome.
