A border pattern

Here's one repeat of a border pattern that I've been working on:

 I'm very much in a mode of sketching surface patterns, instead of working on the bigger picture of the 3D item that led me to look at the patterns in the first place.  I'm just going with it because it's good drawing practice and as I draw I notice things about how some of these patterns function and what it is I like about them.

A palm pattern

Earlier this week I was drawing the pattern above when I noticed that the element I liked best in it reminded me of palm tree fronds.  I've had palm trees on the brain since compiling the the mood board for the main project I'm working on, so today I decided to play with the pattern above and try to work the palm motif more explicitly into it:

I don't think I'm crazy about it - it's a lot more geometric than I usually go for - but it was an interesting experiment.  If I make whatever is in the blank space in the center less linear than the palms, I might be on to something.

An imaginary Siamese cat

Here's one of today's imaginary animals.  I especially like the tail because it's more stylized.

I'd like to be able to claim that I drew it that way on purpose but I just noticed the squiggle of the tail in the scribbled starting point, copied it and voila.

A pattern sketch

This photo is of a sketch of a pattern that I'm considering using in the big project I'm working on.

Another dog

A dog from yesterday's session sketching imaginary animals:

Imaginary dog and cat

I drew these in yesterday's imaginary animal session but forgot to post then.  I like how elongated and stylized the dog is and the animated energy in the cat's pose. 

Doesn't look like much

Today's image is from this afternoon's sketching session.  It's based on a lace pattern that I absolutely adore and would love to find a way to translate into a large scale outdoor installation piece.  Trying to draw a single repeat of the pattern makes me realize just how complex it is...and how challenging it would be to render it on the order of six feet tall.  Just beginning to get the spatial relationships right between the various elements took most for the half hour.

Another drawing exercise

The piece of work in today's photo is from another daily exercise that I do.  Just as my morning making session begins with a half hour of drawing imaginary animals, my afternoon making session begins with a half hour of sketching something that I think is beautiful, while trying to duplicate that thing at closely as I can.  (Today it's a crocosmia flower because I've been thinking about getting a few of them for my garden.)  I only get a half hour to sketch and I make as much progress as I can in that time.  I'm definitely not the world's fastest sketcher, so the drawing is rarely completed by the time the thirty minutes are over.  That suits me perfectly because then when I see my drawing's imperfections I can tell myself that it would be better if I had had just more time to work.

Models by a origami-challenged maker

That would be me: I am completely incapable to following directions to fold real origami.  But today I was using paper to make a model for the big project that I've been working on.  

The actual nature of my project will remain unshared, at least for now, but suffice is to say that it's a 3D piece that has to meet very stringent functional requirements.

The big model is a 1:1 scale of the actual item.  The small model is something I was using to try to solve a problem that I was struggling with on the big piece.  (I didn't want to accidentally destroy the big piece in the course of my fumblings).  Anyway, I'm proud to say that I was able to get the small model to fold the way I wanted it to.  So maybe tomorrow I'll begin my first work session by transferring those folds to the full size piece.

Day Two

This little guy is a lot cuter than the wonky imaginary animals I usually come up with:

I kind of like him, though.

Getting started

It's been a week since my first post.  Every day I've been making art and every day chickening out of posting an image of some piece of it here.  The first day I actually had a hard time making anything at all because as I was working I kept asking myself whether it would be good enough to make public and that really froze me up.  Since then I've had a couple of pretty decent days but still found excuses so I didn't have to put anything up.  Today all that ends.

I forgot to mention this in my first post (which felt like it was running long), but I've actually challenged myself to post just one snapshot of what I'm working on four days each week for a month. 

One of the rituals I have near the beginning of each work day (just before each session of actual making) is to spend a half hour drawing "imaginary animals".  It's a practice based on Carla Sonheim's charming book Drawing and Painting Imaginary Animals.  Basically you either find or create random abstract shapes, then look for animals within those blobs...sort of like a Rorschach test.  At first I was photographing and zooming in in the knots in our hardwood floors and stains on concrete pavement.  Lately I've been closing my eyes and doodling on a piece of paper for a couple of minutes, then opening my eyes and trying to find animals in the resulting shapes.  Here are two from today:

The thing I like about this icebreaker exercise is that it helps me to loosen up a bit, since it's hard (though definitely not impossible for someone as self-critical as me!) to be judge-y about the goodness or badness of made up cartoon animals noticed within squiggles.  Also, I find the expressiveness of animals soothing, even though animals have absolutely nothing to do with the kind of art I make or want to make.

Why I'm Starting This Blog: Internal and External Critics

I'm starting this blog as a way to begin to share my art work with others.  I feel enormous ambivalence about sharing it.  For decades my deafeningly loud inner critic kept me from admitting to myself that that I want to be an artist.  I continue to spar with her every day and am scared of showing my work to others because their responses will add an external critique to that already powerful stream of opinion.  It seems that it's not just external criticism that might set me back, it's also praise. 

The only way I might ultimately be able to make great art is to practice every day, over a long period of time.  A very important part of getting better means honing my internal sense of judgment about my work.  Then I'll know which comments to take to heart and incorporate and which to brush off.  It's only from the inside that I can find the equilibrium between where I know myself to be and where I need to go.  But it's easy to give the voices of external critics tremendous weight and my inner voice is so soft.  If I lose confidence, the whole enterprise is put in jeopardy.

I know how thoroughly I've been schooled to people-please.  I also know how quickly one motive can replace another, especially when one is much flashier and simpler to grasp.  But I'm not making art to please others, I'm doing it to answer an internal calling.  If someone likes a piece I make, then I simply want to be grateful for that extra gift. 

More importantly to me right now, by sharing pieces of my work on this blog I hope to feel less alone as I practice.  For anyone who decides to come along for the ride: welcome.